TIMOTHY’S GIFT 2023 CHRISTMAS TOUR – ANOTHER EXPERIENCE OF ‘HOLY MAGIC’

What is the holy magic of a Timothy’s Gift Tour? What happens that inspires so many who attended a 90-minute program to write with comments like these?

“Singing & playing music is the language of the heart and a way of expressing inner joy, praises, worship, love, longing, and thanksgiving to God. It also encourages and builds each other up. I will ALWAYS be reminded of God’s love through your love for us because it has sparked a light of Hope that can and will endure all things!”

 

“Your visit was only a few hours, but it was such a blessing. It was the best service I have ever experienced in my 32 years of incarceration. Believe it! The Spirit of God was most evident in the lives of all of you. Jesus was visible on your faces. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! May God bless each of you as never before.”

 Behind it all is a commitment to communicating 4 core messages to each person who comes to a program:

“You are loved. You have great worth. God is with you. You are not forgotten.”

But saying the words would not be enough. A group of musicians, audio team and support people spending a week to provide high quality music programs would not be enough. What happens to elicit comments like those above? My conclusion after being on 11 of these tours is that it’s a holy mystery, a moving of the Spirit that can’t be prescribed or mandated.

Every team member who participates for the first time with an open heart and mind becomes part of the embodiment of those 4 messages and people respond. For those who have been part of it before, each time is richer.

Yes, it is a phenomenon that can’t be captured in words very well. But there is also a design in the program that is inspired and powerful for the team that creates it each time and for those in the audience. Walk with me through the program that has such powerful impacts.

The Timothy’s Gift Tour Program

As we begin, the 4 messages are spoken over the group as the reason we are there. The music begins with “Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee,” followed by a couple of popular Christmas songs that draw in the listeners. People appreciate the beautiful music and extraordinary talent and recall memories of their own. Music is breaking down barriers and opening hearts.

Then it gets personal. Each singer and band member is introduced by name and where they are from (origin). Each instrumentalist riffs a bit on their instrument. Those in the audience are invited to introduce themselves and after several have done that the question is asked, “Does anyone have a birthday today?….this week…..” After one or more raise their hands, a sweet a cappella version of “Happy Birthday” is sung to them. The appreciation and joy is clear on everyone’s faces – not just the individuals who gave their name or whose birthdays were recognized. These simple things communicate that we see them as humans, individuals with names and origins and birthdays – and we celebrate their lives. More barriers drop.

After a soulful “Drummer Boy” is sung, volunteers are requested. They come to the stage and are given Santa hats or reindeer antlers to wear as the singers and band don their own. A singalong of Christmas songs is led by the volunteers with the singers – fun ones like “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” and traditional carols ending with “O Come All Ye Faithful.” Both on the stage and in the audience, there is such joy as people feel free to let go. As voices raise with the closing “O come, let us adore him, O come let us adore him” we sense that the it’s one of those thin spaces between this reality and one far beyond.

After this joyful time, “Silent Night” is sung a cappella by the singers, followed by “God Speaking” which poses questions to everyone – how has God been speaking to me and how is God speaking now?

As those questions are pondered, the two people who have done the Timothy’s Gift podcast speak about some of their experiences and share some humor. That segment ends with the story of how one of them first encountered Timothy’s Gift while incarcerated and was especially moved by one song, “Love Me.”

Before Shelley sings that song, she asks everyone to put their hand on their chest and say,

I am loved. I have great worth. God is with me. I am not forgotten.”

The song ends with “Then he heard a voice somewhere deep inside and it said….I will love you for you, Not for what you have done or what you will become. I will love you for you, I will give you the love, The love that you never knew.” The barriers are down, we are all one.

This leads into communion, where everyone is welcome and embraced. People participate who haven’t felt worthy of or welcome at the Table for years. The bread and juice are shared with words of blessings and affirmation. As eyes connect, love is embodied in this sacrament. There are some hugs and tears and many expressions of gratitude. During this holy time, “O Come, O Come Emmanuel” is sung.

When all have returned to their sets, “The Prayer” is sung as a benediction over everyone.

“…Let this be our prayer, Just like every child.
Need to find a place, Guide us with your grace.
Give us faith so we’ll be safe.

 After final comments and requests for “one more song,” the program closes with a lively rendition of “Hold On, I’m Coming.” Everyone leaves on a high note and we shake hands and say final blessings to as many people personally as we can.

From this experience, people are inspired to send messages to Timothy’s Gift like these:

“You guys showing up for me was just like God reminding me of how much I really have to be thankful for.…I know that God holds me closely to Him, and every now and then , he sends wonderful gifts, disguised as everyday people with instruments and voices! We really loved you all!”

 

 “A ‘Thank you’ seems too little for all I received from your group! I was that old man in the wheelchair. You were all blessing an old man’s heart! You really know how to make people happy! May God bless all of you!”

Each Timothy’s Gift Tour is something of a mystery with many blessings, new insights, and new embodiments of these words:

“You are loved. You have great worth. God is with you. You are not forgotten.”

May it continue to be so.

To learn more about this unique ministry: https://www.timothysgift.com 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Make Your Holiday Season Meet More of Your Desires

Peace, Love, Joy

The busy holiday months create lots of mixed feelings among us. Anticipation. Excitement. Avoidance. Ambivalence. Dread. There’s still time to make your holidays more enjoyable for yourself and others – seize the opportunity NOW to do that.

The first thing to do is set aside some time and create a space where you won’t be interrupted. Consider lighting a candle or two and grab a beverage you enjoy in the fall. Have pen and paper ready. OR grab this printable “Reclaim Your Holiday Season” in my Etsy Shop to make it easier. This can be a great help to you.  Reclaim Your Holiday Season 

Take some deep breaths and disconnect from what’s going on in your life right now and the activities of the day. Begin with thinking of 3 words that describe what you desire in this holiday season. Here are some examples to stimulate your thoughts: peace, celebration, quiet, festive, tradition, faith, connection, abundance, family, travel, gathering, love, gifts.

Clear Out Those Blocks That Stop You

Perhaps your busy mind will immediately start thinking of why those 3 things you most desire aren’t practical or possible. So take these steps to get those blocks out of the way – or at least weakened – and then it will be easier to figure out how to create what you want.

Make a “Dread” List. What is difficult during the holidays? Look at upcoming holidays and events. Are the “dreads” expectations of your own, or expectations of others? They may be stressors of many kinds. Write down what comes to mind and dig down. This could take some thought. You may find some ideas in this post: http://carolbrusegar.com/take-steps-reduce-holiday-stress/. 

Then tackle that list. How can specific things be modified or eliminated? Maybe it’s a simple decision on your part, or maybe it requires discussion and negotiation with others. Please consider that you may not be the only one who finds each thing difficult or frustrating or stressful. It may not be as difficult as you suppose to make modifications!

Create the Vision for Your Holiday Season

Now that you have some ideas of how to remove some of the blocks to actually having and feeling your 3 desires for this holiday season, it’s time to be more specific.

Describe in writing what experiences will provide your 3 main desires. What are the places, people, smells, tastes, sights, events. etc.? After you have a list, go back and read through it slowly and imagine how it can be. What will it be like to actually reclaim your holidays?

Words on a page are helpful; images are even more powerful. Take the next step and make a vision board which includes images from magazines or printed from the internet. Get a poster board and attach them, along with key words – big, bold versions of your 3 desires and other phrases. Post it somewhere where you will see it every day. You could also do an electronic version that will be on your computer and/or phone.

Explore Adding Hygge Features to Your Holiday Season

You’ve probably heard about Hygge; it’s become quite popular in recent years. Simply, Hygge, pronounced (Hue-gah), is a Danish word originally derived from an Old Norwegian word meaning well-being and protection from the outside elements. It has become a way of life in Scandinavian countries and is described as a feeling of coziness, comfort, familiarity, friendship, laughter and seasonal homemade food and drinks. Although it’s possible to achieve hygge any time of the year (an outdoor BBQ with friends or a movie under the stars with family are great examples of summertime hygge), Hygge is generally associated with the colder months. This is because of its ability to uplift spirits during dark, long winter months. I’ve written about it here Have a Hygge Holiday Season and Winter and you can also find multiple approaches in books on Amazon: Christmas Hygge

Engaging Others

Who are the people involved in your holidays? It’s important to engage them. Whether your vision includes them in different ways or distances you from typical plans, get them on board as much as possible. Share what you are doing to reclaim your holiday season. Suggest they do something similar. Offer alternatives to replace what they might expect of you. It can be a bit of a negotiation.

You may learn that you are not the only one who would welcome some changes. It may not be as difficult as you suppose. On the other hand, it may be challenging and you may be upsetting the apple cart. Here is where you get even more creative and figure out how to balance your desires and the expectations of others – but from the clarity you have created about what you really want.

Be sure you are not just caving to pressure. Maybe you will decide to take steps toward your vision this year and plan more for next year. You could decide to modify one part of the season and leave others as they have been for now. Others may come along over time.

As you reclaim your holidays, reflect on the impact the changes made on your own sense of peace and joy. Observe the impact on others. Share your experiences with others. May these busy months reflect the true messages and values of the events we observe. And may we be fulfilled and satisfied.

I’m Carol Brusegar, author, photographer and curator of information. My focus is on gathering and writing on topics that enhance all our lives – regardless of our age. Topics include health and wellness, personal development, innovation and creativity, and a variety of helpful, practical tools and practices. I have a special interest in helping people over 50 years of age to create their 3rd Age – the next stage of their lives – to be the best it can be.       Find these and other of my books here:    Amazon.com/author/carolbrusegar

My books

How to Develop and Nurture Motivation

incrrease motivationDo you consider yourself highly motivated in at least some areas of your life? For many of us, including myself, motivation waivers. It isn’t consistent over time or in various parts of life. That’s pretty common. We can develop and nurture motivation when we learn more about motivation and practice certain helpful things.

You know a highly motivated person when you see one. They seem indefatigable (what a great word: persisting tirelessly) in the face of a challenge and possessive of more energy than a pink bunny with a drum.

But what exactly are the character traits that help them stay that way?

  1. Purpose. Highly motivated people are able comprehend and internalize the bigger picture. They see how their work fits into the whole, and therefore don’t start feeling like the smaller components of the journey are meaningless.
  2. Optimism. With a positive vision of what could be in the future, motivated people gain energy to go about their work towards the happy outcome they envision.
  3. Self-Esteem. It’s hard to do anything when you don’t feel like you can do it. But motivated people know their strengths, and they believe in themselves.
  4. Bravery. Motivated people delight in taking on new challenges, and they don’t back down from risk. They’re not afraid to take chances, get mistakes, and get messy—just like the Ms. Frizzle, the teacher on the Magic School Bus series. Best Miss Frizzle Quotes From The Magic School Bus (dailytimepoems.com)
  5. Energy. Motivated people have the requisite energy—mental, physical, or emotional—to move forward with their plan and fight the good fight.
  6. Persistence. People with high levels of motivation don’t just give up when the going gets tough. They buckle down and stick to their guns.
  7. Perspective. Highly motivated people don’t get it twisted with the small stuff. They know how to sort through life’s myriad concerns and ignore the little things that could pull them off course.
  8. Reflection. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson, an old adage goes, and motivated people get that. While bravery, energy, and persistence are some of their sterling qualities, that doesn’t mean they make stupid choices. Motivated people reflect on the process and move forward with intelligence and strategy.
  9. Humility. Motivated people also have perspective on their own strengths and weaknesses. An arrogant person will quickly run up against a wall again and again as opposing egos clash with their quest. By contrast, a humble person will have an easier time carrying out their plan, taking feedback, and adjusting course as necessary. They’re not offended—their eyes are on the prize, and they’ll take the help they need to get there.
  10. Celebration. Motivated people enjoy success and they celebrate it. It’s not about throwing it in other people’s faces, but about appreciating the hard work just done, and looking forward to a new journey.

If you feel you are seriously lacking in any of these traits, explore ways to expand them to develop and nurture motivation in your life. One approach that can increase several of them is to learn to get into a state of flow. Read about that here: Being in a State of Flow – High Energy and Focused Productivity (carolbrusegar.com)

Develop, Nurture and Sustain Your Motivation

Now you may say, I don’t consistently have all these traits. What can I do to develop and nurture motivation ? Here are six ways to do that:

  1. Remember the pain points. If you feel your motivation waning in a particular area, keep in mind all the things that could or will happen if you don’t stay the course. For example, if you were once motivated to go running three times a week, think about what will happen if you don’t give your heart the exercise it needs.
  2. Don’t play leapfrog. Feelings of motivation can sometimes slip into the category of finding the next high. Instead of bouncing from goal to goal, make sure you finish what you start before getting motivated about something else. For example, if you really like language and made a goal for yourself to learn French, learn it before you switch to learning German, and then Italian, or whatever else.
  3. Know Thyself. When you try to accomplish goals that other people set for you, your motivation can wane. Take a look at your goals and make sure they’re goals you have for yourself…not goals that other people want you to achieve. If they’re not, you may want to set them aside and reassess where you’re going.
  4. Visualize. Picturing the end result of your goal can go a long way towards continuing your motivation to succeed, and it has some seriously awesome side effects. The positive energy you build around that imagery will affect you at a subconscious level, while the mental affirmation that you can achieve it will do loads for your self-confidence, which will also help you stay the course.
  5. Let go of stuff beyond your control. When it comes to motivation, it can be easy to give up because things don’t go according to plan. Learn to let go of things beyond your control; otherwise they’ll reduce your motivation to succeed. Letting go is a practice that can pay great dividends.
  6. Get organized. If you want to stay motivated, you need to work a little bit to keep the motivation alive, otherwise it will just slip into the traffic stream of life’s feelings that inevitably comes over everyone—just like happiness, sadness, or anger, motivation will just be another feeling unless you concretize it. The daily events and pressures of life have a way of drawing us away from things we want to do; so put your goals on the calendar and make an action plan.

To explore a unique approach to motivation, check out Susan Fowler’s book, Master Your Motivation, Three Scientific Truths for Achieving Your Goals  Drawing on the latest empirical research, the author proves that high-quality, optimal motivation is a skill that you can learn and apply.

I’m Carol Brusegar, author, photographer and curator of information. My focus is on gathering and writing on topics that enhance all our lives – regardless of our age. Topics include health and wellness, personal development, innovation and creativity, and a variety of helpful, practical tools and practices. I have a special interest in helping people over 50 years of age to create their 3rd Age – the next stage of their lives – to be the best it can be. Visit my Amazon Author Page to find my published books: https://amazon.com/author/carolbrusegar

Feeling Stuck? At a Loss for Creative Ideas?

Feeling Stuck?You’ve heard of writer’s block. But blocks aren’t unique to writers, artists and other creatives. Feeling stuck is something each of us experiences at times. It seems we can’t seem to come up with creative approaches to a situation we are facing. Even the most creative soul can struggle to find inspiration. Sometimes, this creative block strikes at the worst time. We desperately need to finish a project, but we can’t create. We are facing a situation that must be resolved quickly, but we can’t think of creative ways to approach it.  If this sounds like you, these tips may help you find your creative spark.

Start by taking a few minutes to practice mindfulness. Simply sit quietly, focus on the current moment. This can help you relax and clear your mind and consider which of these ideas to try first. Feeling stuck can change before you know it.

  1. Spend Time Just Having Fun

When you’re feeling stuck, it can be helpful to take a break from whatever you’re working on or pondering and do something you enjoy. This could be anything from playing a game, reading a book, or walking. The idea is to take your mind off the task at hand and allow yourself to relax and have fun.

  1. Always Be Ready

Inspiration can strike at any time, so it’s important to always be ready to capture your ideas when they come. Keep a notebook or journal with you at all times so you can jot down your thoughts as they occur. You can also use your phone to record voice memos or take pictures of things that inspire you.

  1. Take A Digital Detox

In today’s digital age, getting sucked into social media and losing track of time is easy. Taking a break from technology can help you clear your mind and refocus your energy. Consider turning off your phone for a few hours or taking a weekend off from social media to give your brain a break.

  1. Get Out Of The House

Sometimes, simply changing your environment can help get your creative juices flowing. Go for a walk in nature, visit a museum or gallery, or work from a coffee shop for a change of scenery.

  1. Forget About The End Outcome

It’s easy to get bogged down in perfectionism, especially when you feel creatively stuck. Instead of worrying about creating a perfect end product or solution, focus on simply generating ideas. Remember that rule of brainstorming: don’t judge ideas, just think of any possible thing. The more ideas the better. Open the flow. Set a five-minute timer and write down as many ideas as possible related to your project, situation or dilemma.

  1. Do Something Outside Your Comfort Zone

Trying something new or challenging yourself to step outside your comfort zone can be a great way to spark creativity. This could be taking a class on a new subject, trying a new hobby, or taking on a project that feels intimidating.

  1. Do Something Monotonous

Doing something monotonous, like washing dishes or folding laundry, can be a great way to get your creative juices flowing. These types of activities allow your mind to wander, which can lead to new ideas and inspiration and ends your feeling stuck.

  1. Make Self-Care A Priority

Taking care of yourself is crucial for maintaining creativity and avoiding burnout. Ensure you get enough sleep, eat well, and take breaks when needed. You might also consider incorporating activities like meditation, yoga, or exercise into your routine to help reduce stress and boost your energy levels. Having a personal wellness routine can be a powerful tool. Read more about it here: https://carolbrusegar.com/effective-wellness-routine/

  1. Set Better Boundaries

If you’re struggling with creative block due to too many demands on your time and energy, it might be time to set better boundaries. This could mean saying no to certain projects or commitments or delegating tasks to others. By managing your time and energy more effectively, you’ll be better equipped to stay creative.

Using strategies such as these can open up your creativity when you’ve hit a block. Learning more about how to approach any part of your life with more creativity will give great benefits. I wrote about creativity here: https://carolbrusegar.com/develop-your-creativity/

Here are a couple of books that you may find helpful:

Emotional Agility, Getting Unstuck, Embrace Change and Thrive in Work and Life

Anatomy of a Breakthrough – How to Get Unstuck When It Matters Most

I’m Carol Brusegar, author, photographer and curator of information. My focus is on gathering and writing on topics that enhance all our lives – regardless of our age. Topics include health and wellness, personal development, innovation and creativity, and a variety of helpful, practical tools and practices. I have a special interest in helping people over 50 years of age to create their 3rd Age – the next stage of their lives – to be the best it can be. Visit my Amazon Author Page to find my published books: https://amazon.com/author/carolbrusegar

 

 

 

Create and Use Micro Habits to Help You Live the Life You Desire

Micro HabitsDo you ever feel like your goals are unattainable, no matter how hard you try? Or that you can’t seem to make changes you desire to make your life work better? It could be because you’re overlooking one of the most powerful tools for your success: micro habits.

Micro habits are small changes that can have a huge impact on your life and help propel you towards achieving your goals. They may seem insignificant at first, but these tiny actions add up to create big results in the long run.

Why are Micro Habits a Powerful Tool?

Reason #1: Micro Habits Are Easier to Stick To

When it comes to forming habits, consistency is key. Creating a micro habit requires less of an effort than long-term goals, making it easier to stick with over time and turn into a lasting lifestyle change. Because they don’t take up a lot of time and energy, it’s easier to commit to them for the short and long term!

Reason #2: Micro Habits Measure Progress

Creating micro habits can help you stay on track and measure your progress. When you make small, incremental changes to your daily routine, it’s easier to see how far you’ve come and keep yourself motivated. And, if you use a habit tracker, you can create your own visual display of the progress you make along the way. It’s a great way to inspire continued action.

Reason #3: Micro Habits Build Momentum

Once you start forming micro habits and begin seeing the results, it will create a sense of momentum that will help propel you towards achieving your long-term goals. Many small micro habits can inform a bigger overarching goal.

Reason #4: Micro Habits Are Flexible

Because micro habits are small, they can be tailored to fit any lifestyle or schedule. This makes it easier for you to create the perfect micro habit for yourself and stick with it over time.

Reason #5 Micro Habits Increase Motivation

The feeling of accomplishment that comes with performing micro habits will help keep you motivated. When you’re able to see your progress and the results of your actions, it will give you the confidence to take on bigger goals. They help you build confidence one micro movement at a time. Micro habits give you an immediate win. You can start a micro habit in the next 5 minutes and get it done.

Reason #6: Micro Habits Reduce Stress

Creating micro habits can help reduce the stress that comes with trying to reach a big goal. By taking on smaller tasks and measuring your progress along the way, it can make achieving your long-term goals less overwhelming. You’re actually training your brain to react positively to new stimuli.

Examples of Micro Habits

These examples may help you identify micro habits that will enhance your life, whether in physical health, mental health, relationships, or any other area of life.

Read for 10 minutes a day.

Reading for 10 minutes a day can help you to improve your vocabulary, writing skills, and overall knowledge. What’s more is that it will give you a much-needed break from whatever else you were doing. The brain loves novelty as it keeps it sharp and agile.

Write in a journal for 5 minutes a day.

Writing in a journal for 5 minutes a day can help you to process your emotions, clear your mind, track your use of micro habits and other things and set goals. And, if you’re deep into writing, ignore the timer and keep going!

Meditate for 5 minutes a day.

Meditating for 5 minutes a day can help you to reduce stress, anxiety, and depression. It can also improve focus and concentration. To get started, find a quiet place to sit, close your eyes, and focus on your breath. Allow your thoughts to come and go. Don’t worry about it. Meditation is not about stopping your thoughts. It’s more about allowing and just being!

Exercise for 15 minutes a day.

Exercising for 15 minutes a day can improve your physical health, reduce stress, and boost your mood. You can exercise in the house or outside. You can exercise by lying down, sitting in a chair or standing up. There’s always something you can do.

Eat one healthy meal a day.

Eating at least one healthy meal a day can improve your overall health and help you to manage your weight. To get started, spend some time planning meals, create a shopping list and get what you need. Cook at home more often than eating out and avoid processed foods, sugary drinks, and excessive amounts of saturated and unhealthy fats.

Drink plenty of water.

Staying hydrated is vitally important to your overall health. After all, we are 70% water! Dehydration is not good for the body or brain and it can disrupt both from functioning properly. For tips to increase the amount of water you consume in enjoyable ways, check out https://carolbrusegar.com/stay-hydrated/

Take a walk outside for 10 minutes a day.

Getting outside and enjoying the fresh air for 10 minutes each day can improve your mood, reduce stress, and boost your immune system. Even if you can only walk back and forth in front of where you live for 10 minutes, do it! Moving your body and being outside will positively impact your life.

Call a friend or family member for 5-10 minutes a day.

Stay connected with friends and family by calling just one person each day for a short 5-10 minute conversation. It can improve your relationships, reduce stress, and boost your mood. Be sure to tell the person, up front, that you need to jump off after that time. You’ll be amazed at how refreshed you feel after connecting! And, the other person will appreciate you reaching out and connecting!

Be grateful for one thing each day.

Being grateful enhances our appreciation of life and our happiness. Each day, find something that you’re grateful for. Take just 5 minutes to either sit quietly and think about why you are grateful for that person or thing or consider journaling about it. When you do this, you’ll start seeing how much you truly have in life. Gratitude can completely change your relationship to everything in your life!

This is a brief introduction to the practice of micro habits; check out this book which has become extremely popular since it was published: Atomic Habits by James Clear It includes scientific and practical aspects of changing habits – “Tiny Changes, Remarkable Results.”

I’m Carol Brusegar, author, photographer and curator of information. My focus is on gathering and writing on topics that enhance all our lives – regardless of our age. Topics include health and wellness, personal development, innovation and creativity, and a variety of helpful, practical tools and practices. I have a special interest in helping people over 50 years of age to create their 3rd Age – the next stage of their lives – to be the best it can be. Visit my Amazon Author Page to find my published books: https://amazon.com/author/carolbrusegar

 

 

 

Reclaiming Clarity in Turbulent Times

INTRODUCING:

Clarity

“Clarity is alignment. Clarity is a clear impulse of where to go. Clarity is trusting the path.

Clarity is not standing in a wobbly place. Clarity is that momentum that has no resistance, 

and when you’re in that place of clarity, the feeling of what to do next is right there.” ~ Abraham Hicks 

Do you feel you have clarity right now about the direction of your life, your vision, your goals? For many of us the answer is no. I count myself as one. Why is that?

Put simply, we have experienced and continue to experience major upheavals and threats in our lives over the past few years. The combination of all of it has affected everyone somehow. As human beings, we have incredible ability to compartmentalize things or suppress our reactions or feelings. The are situations when this is useful for some period of time. But it is not the healthiest for us in the long run.

Quick View of Our Scenario

In the past few years, I have found clarity to be elusive. Perhaps you have too. When the COVID-19 pandemic hit, nothing was clear. As uncertainty and fear prevailed and our usual routines and connections were interrupted, a fog descended over so many of us. Our survival instincts kicked in and we figured out how to live in a totally different reality. We took things day by day. There wasn’t much else we could do.

As I look back, the greatest clarity I had during that time was when I had 6 weeks to prepare to move cross country in August/September of 2020. The imminent move, arranged by my daughter so I would be nearer to her and her family, forced me to focus on what had to be done to make this happen. I wrote about that here: https://carolbrusegar.com/reflections-on-pandemic-liminal-space/ 

Since the official pandemic crisis is past – although the virus still lurks and is infecting and killing people daily – we imagine we can be back to pre-pandemic life. But that’s not reality. For many of us our way of making a living has changed in some way. Our relationships may be different. We may be grieving loss of loved ones. We or loved ones may be grappling with the realities of long COVID. Our economy is still adjusting and recovering from the massive upheavals beginning in 2020.

And it’s more than the effects of the pandemic. Our political landscape has divided us in ways most of us haven’t experienced before. Changes that truly affect the daily lives of ourselves or people we know and love are occurring regularly. The ground is trembling beneath our feet.

Extreme weather events are affecting so many of us across the globe. Heat, cold, snowfall, rain and floods, wildfires out of control for months and smoke affecting people hundreds of miles away. The list could go on.

It’s not surprising that our brains are on overload and we feel scattered with all of these realities and more.

Greater Clarity

Lack of clarity manifests itself in many ways but we often don’t realize how that affects our lives. If we don’t know how something impacts us, we don’t address it. And sometimes we don’t realize what we are missing until we are reminded of it and its benefits.

When we realize why clarity is important, we are ready to identify our own status and take steps to gain greater clarity. Clarity and focus can vastly improve our lives.

The above is the introduction to my new Special Report, “Reclaiming Clarity in Turbulent Times.” The full report includes 8 benefits of finding clarity and then 12 signs that you lack clarity along with suggestions of how to make changes and additional resources. The free download of the report – no optin required –  is here: https://carolbrusegar.com/Reclaiming-Clarity-in-Turbulent-Times

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Danger of Toxic Positivity and Finding a Better Way

“Look on the bright side.” “Put on a Happy Face” OR: “There’s no hope.” “We’re going down the tubes.” These extremes are prevalent these days. How do we deal with challenging situations both in our personal and collective lives? Some promote the always-positive approach – at the extreme, toxic positivity; others focus only on negatives.

Toxic Positivity

Positive thinking is usually a good thing. It can also be dangerous and toxic when taken to an extreme.

You may be asking questions like these. How can positivity be toxic? Can a positive person potentially poison themselves and others with a relentlessly upbeat outlook? How are you supposed to get over life’s many difficulties if you don’t adopt a positive attitude?

As with many things, toxic positivity is an extreme approach that includes no acceptance of painful or difficult experiences. Think positive! Keep going! No matter how our situation is, keep a positive mindset! Power through. Psychotherapist Babita Spinelli defines toxic positivity as:

“A belief that no matter how painful a situation is or how difficult, an individual should maintain positivity and change their outlook to be happy or grateful.”

What Toxic Positivity Can Look Like

We can find examples of toxic positivity within our collective experience of the COVID-19 pandemic. Even in the face of millions of worldwide deaths and a virus that seemed unstoppable, many people flaunted their toxic positivity. They refused to even entertain the idea that they would become victims. Videos were posted on social media of people gathering in the hundreds without wearing masks and social distancing.

Those people put themselves and their loved ones in danger because they ignore reality. They dismissed any negative emotions and responded to distress with an absolute refusal to accept that the world was presenting them with anything but the rosiest of pictures. The Psychology Group speaks of this relentless positive outlook as “… the dark side of the ‘positive vibes’ trend.” They define toxic positivity as:

“The excessive and ineffective overgeneralization of a happy, optimistic state across all situations. Toxic positivity leads to the denial, minimization, and invalidation of the authentic human emotional experience.”

Toxic Negativity

 In the midst of the pandemic we also saw attacks on public health experts who continued to study and update recommendations during this fast-spreading pandemic – and on those who were following the guidance. Toxic negativity polluted the dialogue and created great conflict. We became familiar with gaslighting too – the practice of causing someone to question their reality (Miriam Webster dictionary) by systematically feeding them false information.

Avoiding the Extremes

Toxic positivity can ruin relationships because the person presenting the “positive at all costs” mindset can be deemed insensitive or dismissive. A person can become ill-prepared for hard times when they fail to accept and deal with harsh reality. Toxic Negativity sucks the life out of a room or a relationship. Being critical of everything, assigning negative motivations or descriptions to everything the person disagrees with – it’s almost impossible to have a discussion with that person. There’s no room for finding positive solutions.

Somewhere in the middle is positive and realistic thinking. It can sound like “I/we can get out of here. I know this might look like a difficult situation right now, but if we use our heads and keep our wits, we can figure a way out.” We begin digging, climbing, and doing whatever we can to improve the situation. We think positively but not unrealistically. An approach that addresses the situation directly and right away is better than just having a seat and hoping for the best.

A combination of realistic responses to negative situations and a positive attitude that you can get through them is the recipe for success when dealing with life’s hardships. Adopt a positive outlook. Positive people have been proven to live longer than those who embrace negativity 24/7. Just be sure you don’t ignore negative feelings or life events.

In addition to this, protect yourself from people who exhibit toxic negativity. Limit your exposure to them. Set boundaries. Cut tirades short.

These two books provide much more information on this topic. Check them out.

Toxic Positivity, Keeping It Real in a World Obsessed With Being Happy by Whitney Goodman

Toxic Positivity, How to Be Yourself, Avoid Positive Thinking Traps, Master Difficult Situations, Control Negative emotions and Thoughts by Chase Hill

I’m Carol Brusegar, author, photographer and curator of information. My focus is on gathering and writing on topics that enhance all our lives – regardless of our age. Topics include health and wellness, personal development, innovation and creativity, and a variety of helpful, practical tools and practices. I have a special interest in helping people over 50 years of age to create their 3rd Age – the next stage of their lives – to be the best it can be. Visit my Amazon Author Page to find my published books: https://amazon.com/author/carolbrusegar

 

Cultivating Curiosity to Enrich Your Life

Curiosity, simply put, is  the desire to learn or know about anything; inquisitiveness.” It’s a natural part of our humanity, from birth on. It can be discouraged or suppressed by parents and others in the quest to manage behavior. As adults, cultivating curiosity can be incredibly valuable to our lives. In fact:

 Curiosity is one of the most permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous intellect.  ~ Samuel Johnson

Curiosity about life in all of its aspects, I think, is still the secret of great creative people.  ~ Leo Burnett

Curiosity opens us up to new people, places, and experiences. It can keep us feeling young and better prepared to deal with a changing world. I value my natural curiosity and try to continually nurture it. It has taken me down paths of understanding and learning and built bridges with other people. Curiosity is essential to understanding other people – especially those whose backgrounds and experiences are quite different from yours. It is a prerequisite to engaging our imagination and empathy also. Read more here: Imagination and Empathy – Tools to Decrease Division and Conflict .

These nine tips make cultivating curiosity in your life easier:

  1. Embrace The Unknown

Many of us fear the unknown, or at least have no interest in “digging deeper.” One of the best ways to cultivate your curiosity is to embrace the things you don’t know. If you take the time to learn about the things you don’t know, you will be surprised by some of the things you learn.

  1. Ask More Questions

Don’t be afraid to ask people more questions. This is not only one of the best ways to learn, but it’s also a great way to stay curious. When you ask the right questions (why, who, how) it will lead you down paths you never thought of before.

  1. Read More Often

If you aren’t an avid reader, strive to become one. Start small if you have to. Try to read a new book every month. You don’t have to focus on learning either. Quite often, a good fiction novel will capture your attention in unique ways that help foster curiosity. If you are a voracious reader, consider trying a new genre or seek out authors you haven’t yet explored.

  1. Stop Saying “I’m Bored”

Do you ever say “I’m bored” out loud? If so – next time catch yourself. Instead of saying you are bored, take in your surroundings and see if you can focus your attention on something else. Simply grabbing a pamphlet in a waiting room might inspire you in unexpected ways. Especially in those times when you have to wait in a doctor’s office, the Department of Motor Vehicles, etc., bring something to read or explore something new on your phone.

  1. Be More Present

Try to be more mindful of the world around you and your place in it. Instead of worrying about the future, fretting about the past, multitasking, or checking your phone – just let yourself be. When you are more aware of your surroundings, you will find yourself more curious about them. Rather than going into auto pilot when you are taking the same route to a place you go regularly, try an alternate route and observe as you go.

  1. Listen More Than You Speak

Listening to others is one of the best ways to spark your curiosity. You never know which tidbit is going to catch your attention and lead you down paths unknown. When you speak too much, you miss out on these types of opportunities.

  1. Learn Something New

Is there anything you have wanted to learn but never bothered?  There has never been a better time to learn about something new. With almost all universities and colleges offering online learning and websites like Udemy, there is no lack of ways to learn something new. And in-person classes at community colleges or community centers are a great option.

  1. Start Taking Notes

You would be surprised how much you notice about the world around you when you keep notes. Things you might notice in the moment, then normally forget later, can be captured forever by taking notes. Capture questions that pop into your mind too. Those can so easily be lost. Nothing beats an actual notebook, but there are plenty of phone apps that ensure you can jot down your thoughts anytime. Then go back regularly and explore some of those topics.

  1. Forget Your Fears

We let fear take control far too often. You won’t ever experience something new if you are too scared to take a chance. You may have apprehension about the activity itself, or of people’s reactions to you going in that direction. Worrying about the thoughts of others can be a huge and unnecessary block. If something interests you, go for it – don’t fear the judgment of others.

Here are 3 specific ways to get started cultivating curiosity today:

  • Think about a topic that you have a casual interest in but never really explored. Start an internet search about it, and dive in. Don’t worry if you go down another tangent – that’s curiosity!
  • Make a “to-read” list. Search an online bookstore and find some titles that speak to you or capture your interest. Try to find at least 12. This will give you a manageable list to conquer in a year.
  • Commit to learning something new. It can be a new skill or just a topic that interests you. Find an online course (there is probably a free or cheap option!) and sign up.

As you are cultivating curiosity in your life, you may find these books which go much deeper of interest:

 Curious: The Desire to Know and Why Your Future Depends On It

A Curious Mind: The Secret to a Bigger Life 

I’m Carol Brusegar, author, photographer and curator of information. My focus is on gathering and writing on topics that enhance all our lives – regardless of our age. Topics include health and wellness, personal development, innovation and creativity, and a variety of helpful, practical tools and practices. I have a special interest in helping people over 50 years of age to create their 3rd Age – the next stage of their lives – to be the best it can be. Visit my Amazon Author Page to find my published books: https://amazon.com/author/carolbrusegar

 

TIPS TO GENERATE GREAT IDEAS

Creative IdeasThinking ruts, brain fog, mental restrictions remaining from pandemic isolation….. Any of these can impede our ability find creative ideas and approaches to situations we face. Those situations are impacted by the multitude of things we are dealing with at this moment in history. We have information overload, deluge of media, dealing with the lasting effects of the pandemic, political stress and toxicity, our personal and family situations – and more. It can be really challenging to generate great ideas!

In all aspects of our lives, how can we manage all of this in ways that are healthy and productive? There are tools and strategies that can really help. We are far more creative than we often realize. Here are a few tips to help you generate great ideas in many areas of life.

SCAMPER

First, utilize the SCAMPER method. SCAMPER is an idea generation technique that utilizes action verbs to prompt creative ideas. It’s based on a belief that everything new is an alteration of something that already exists. It has been used effectively in business settings for decades and is also useful in our personal lives.

SUBSTITUTE – rename the challenge or issue to look at it differently, or modifying your attitude or feeling toward it. This can be as basic as seeing an opportunity versus a crisis. Or deciding to look for the positive aspects or potential outcomes.

COMBINE – link a situation or need to another and see new possibilities, or see a two-fer approach that will satisfy more than one thing. Most of us use this as a way to relieve time stress by combining multiple errands into one trip. How else can you apply it?

ADAPT – take an idea or approach you’ve used before or know of and readjust or revise it to fit the current situation. Think back to when you successfully met a need or solved a problem and adapt it to this situation.

MODIFY (or MAGNIFY) – change an approach by multiplying, strengthening or expanding it to meet this need.

PUT TO ANOTHER USE – apply an idea used in another context to this situation

ELIMINATE – see if there are things you are considering to be essential that really aren’t, or lessen their importance and see what emerges. Or simplify.

REVERSE (or REARRANGE) – see if you can put off or reorder something or reposition it in your life and priorities

For more about how to use SCAMPER, go here:   A Guide to the SCAMPER Technique for Design Thinking (designorate.com) The article focuses on business applications.

SHIFT PERSPECTIVE

It’s easy to get stuck in a particular way of viewing a situation or issue. It can be described as ‘having blinders’ to other perspectives or having ‘tunnel vision.’ Ask friends, family and acquaintances for their ideas about what you are facing. This can open you to new ways to think about it.

Another way to shift perspective is to play the ‘If I were’ game. This is simply putting yourself in the position of another person looking at your situation or putting yourself in another position. For example: If I were ____________ (a trusted person or expert), I would do this.

Or If I were 10 years older or younger/on easy street financially/in another state or country, etc., I would do this.

By trying these, you gain some distance from the dilemma and you may be surprised at the ideas that come to you.

MORE IDEAS = BETTER IDEAS

Generating great ideas is so often a numbers game. Sometimes you may get a great inspiration that’s just right without going through a lot of options. But more often, brainstorming as many ideas as possible will result in the best outcome. The key is to not filter or judge ideas that come to mind. Capture all the ideas you can and then assess them. You can generate even more great ideas by brainstorming with one or more other people.

KEEP TRACK OF YOUR IDEAS

Keep track of your ideas whether they are a result of brainstorming or those that come to you ‘out of the blue.’ Many great ideas come when we aren’t trying to generate them – in the shower, on a walk, in a dream, in the middle of a conversation. If you are anything like me, too many of the ideas that come to me this way are lost. I think I will remember, but often I don’t. Get into a habit of capturing these ideas – in a notebook, an electronic note page, a program like Evernote, or a specific Idea Journal. Check out this one: Idea Journal and Planner

For another set of ideas, check out this post: 5 Stages of Creative Thinking to Enhance Your Life.

Here’s a book that addresses the importance of the right mindset when trying to solve problems as well as giving tools. Solve It!: The Mindset and Tools of Smart Problem Solvers

I’m Carol Brusegar, author, photographer and curator of information. My focus is on gathering and writing on topics that enhance all our lives – regardless of our age. Topics include health and wellness, personal development, innovation and creativity, and a variety of helpful, practical tools and practices. I have a special interest in helping people over 50 years of age to create their 3rd Age – the next stage of their lives – to be the best it can be. Visit my Amazon Author Page to find my published books: https://amazon.com/author/carolbrusegar

 

Imagination and Empathy – Tools to Decrease Division and Conflict

Division and conflict over a wide variety of topics and issues are a reality of life these days in the U.S. and across the globe. It truly is like we see different realities. What’s happened? Why are we so unable to understand others’ situations and perspectives? Could things improve if we expand our ability to imagine and empathize with other’s situations and perspectives?

Author and clergyman Stephen Mattson makes a powerful statement about this:

“When you can’t imagine, you can’t empathize, understand, or relate with the actions, struggles, pain, suffering, persecution, and trials of others — you become apathetic, unmoved, stoic, and inactive….

When you can’t imagine, you can’t celebrate, appreciate, admire, and joyfully love others. You disconnect yourself from humanity.

Imagination leads to empathy, empathy leads to understanding, understanding leads to action, action leads to experience, and experience leads to wisdom — which leads to even more imagination.”

Imagining someone’s situation that is outside our personal experience with all our senses breaks down barriers. When you imagine what it is like for that person, what they are dealing with, you become more empathetic and understanding. And that opens doors to so much more.

Understanding Empathy

So what exactly is empathy? How is it different from sympathy? I found this compilation to be helpful:

“Sympathy and empathy are both related to feelings, but they have different meanings and expressions. Sympathy is feeling compassion, sorrow, or pity for the hardships that another person encounters, or a recognition of what they are going through. Empathy is putting yourself in the shoes of another, understanding and experiencing their emotions or situation from their perspective, or using your experience to relate to their experience. Empathy is usually preferred over sympathy when dealing with difficult situations, because people need to feel understood rather than pitied.” Summarized from 5 sources and the web, Bing Search engine

Imagination is important to empathy because it takes you beyond your own thoughts and experiences.  As we expand our ability to imagine and empathize, we open our minds and hearts to new things.

Let’s break down empathy a bit more. There are 3 different types of empathy – emotional, cognitive and compassionate empathy with problem solving. The last is actually a combination of the first two.

Here’s one way to describe the difference between the first two types –

“Cognitive empathy is an attempt to walk a mile in another person’s shoes, while emotional empathy is screaming in pain when someone else steps on a nail.” Source: MasterClass.com.

Emotional empathy most often occurs when someone experiences something you’ve been through before. You re-live that situation and its pain with that person. Even if you haven’t experienced the same thing but have a relationship with the person, emotional empathy is possible. That can be extended to others beyond your circle of friends who are dealing with similar things.

Cognitive empathy is a conscious effort to understand the perspective of someone else. You relate to what someone else is going through even if you’ve never experienced it yourself. You aren’t inserting your personal point of view. There’s no bias on your part and you’re not trying to insert your own experiences. You may happily help another person and might even understand the point of view of an individual. You don’t necessarily identify with what caused the problem in the first place but respond with empathy.

Compassionate Empathy combines the emotional and cognitive and goes farther. It means looking at a situation and trying to get at the cause. You analyze the underlying reasons why something happened, as well as the effects.

With this ability, you can demonstrate to a person that you understand where they’re coming from to the degree possible. You don’t offer any bias or prejudice. You may even offer an alternative way of thinking or some insight that helps the person in need.

Expanding Our Abilities and Impact

Empathy in any form makes the world a better place. It’s selfless and caring. It is also a powerful tool to apply in many situations in our fractured society and world. We are fortunate to have resources to help us expand our ability to imagine and empathize.

TED’s series “How to Be a Better Human” includes this article: 5 exercises to help you build more empathy | (ted.com) It includes 5 exercises to help build your empathy from Dr. Jamil Zaki, Psychology professor at Stanford University. Dr. Zaki believes we all have a responsibility to cultivate empathy in “the same way that we try to take care of our bodies or of our mental health…building empathy is a way to take care of our social health.”

I recommend Dr. Zaki’s book, The War for Kindness – Building Empathy in a Fractured World by Jamil Zaki

Another resource was written specifically for educators but provides so much great content for everyone. Preventing Polarization: 50 Strategies for Teaching Kids About Empathy, Politics, and Civic Responsibility  by Michelle Blanchet and Brian Deters

Each of us can make a difference if we make the choice and seek out the tools and opportunities to expand our ability to imagine and empathize.

I’m Carol Brusegar, author, photographer and curator of information. My focus is on gathering and writing on topics that enhance all our lives – regardless of our age. Topics include health and wellness, personal development, innovation and creativity, and a variety of helpful, practical tools and practices. I have a special interest in helping people over 50 years of age to create their 3rd Age – the next stage of their lives – to be the best it can be. Visit my Amazon Author Page to find my published books: https://amazon.com/author/carolbrusegar